Professional Nannies
by AggresiveFangirling
Summary: Artemis isn't particularly well known for managing children properly, so what happens when Batman assigns her and Wally to help with an abundance of toddlers at a children's home for a week? Humor, pinch of angst, and a whole lotta spitfire.
1. A Change of Plans

Professional Nannies

* * *

**Chapter 1.  
**There was just something about her that aggravated him to no end. If it was her snarky remarks or aggressive attitude, he wasn't sure. Maybe it was the smile, undoubtedly taunting his every move.

Luckily for Wally, he wouldn't be paired with _Artemis_ for the next mission. If he was correct, he was sure that after a week with his favorite Martian, a date would be secured, as well.

He rushed into the cave, eager on receiving orders from Batman. And there they stood. The Team, Batman, and that ever annoying archer.

"Ssoo, Batman... Where're you sending me and Miss M? I heard Hawaii is a place in desperate need of protection!" He began brightly, shooting a wink at the said Miss M, who only shook her head lightly.

"Yes, of course. Defend the North Shores from the sea's deadly inhabitants," Artemis drawled. "Fishes."

Wally glared at her.

Batman cleared his throat. "The plans have altered slightly. The _training exercise _will take place at a children's home. This will help you improve on some of the missing elements during battles. Patience and teamwork. While fighting is not required, being prepared wouldn't hurt. You will not go as Kid Flash but as Wally West, accompanied, of course, by Artemis."

Robin stifled a snicker. Wally's disappointment and confusion were very evident, for though his interactions with Artemis had improved significantly, an opportunity to spend time with M'gann was never passed. Artemis was hardly any better.

"Wait, children's home?" Her eyes widened. "No, no, no! I am _not_ babysitting toddlers for a week, they're - they're practically feral!"

Wally nodded earnestly. "Kids love me and all, but-"

"So it's settled," Batman cut in. If Wally wasn't mistaken, the dark knight's voice betrayed a little amusement as he continued, "You'll leave tomorrow morning."

**. . .**

"Wally and Artemis, professional nannies for life!" Dick cackled afterward.

"You could use him for target practice, y'know.." Wally mused.

Artemis smirked. "Grab the arms."

"Not necessary!" Dick yelped, jumping away from them. "But hey, teamwork. You're doing so great already."

Two groans immediately followed.

* * *

_Heeerreee we go~_


	2. Kisses

**Chapter 2.**_  
_Though not appearing very large from the outside, the house looked intimate and cozy. It was two stories high, with occasional rectangular windows in the stone walls. Wally glanced around drowsily.

"You sure this is the place?"

Artemis nodded. "Unless I've lost the ability to read properly, yes."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Wally yawned loudly.

Before Artemis could shoot back a rebuttal, the door opened, and an elderly woman, who later introduced herself as Karen, the cook, greeted them with a smile and welcomed them in warmly. She continued to express her delight at having them, for it was a great help to her as, "The other youth workers and the kind manager are taking a leave of absence for a week."

She took them through a quick tour of the house. It was equipped with one kitchen, several bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a huge living room, where sat a good amount of chattering little children, who were then also introduced, though half of them, being in a hurry to get breakfast, were slightly impatient.

"Our baby, Jade, is still asleep," Karen said after going through everyone's names (Wally had made a silent note to write all of them down later).

At the mention of the name, Artemis winced. "The baby?"

"Ah yes, she's two," Karen confirmed, smiling. "That, over there, is Luca." She pointed at the large couch in the corner of the room, where a boy around ten sat. His rust-colored hair fell messily over his forehead, covering half of his face. He had a very small frame, leaning more on the skinnier side than the other kids. "He's.. a little different from the others, which may be due to the difference in age. Slightly.. difficult to get through, but still a good kid. Might want to be gentle with that one."

With that, Karen rushed off to feed her army of hungry lambs, as she called them.

"Look at that, Harpy," Wally laughed through gritted teeth. "Nine toddlers."

Artemis swallowed. "Yay, we're gonna be parents." Then, realizing what it might have sounded like to Wally, added hastily, "As in, because we're taking care of them! The kids!"

Wally colored and nodded vigorously. "Y-yeah, separate - separate? - parents!"

"Wow. You guys are just.."

The two whipped around to see Luca standing in front of them, shaking his head wearily.

"Sad." He concluded, before stepping around them and leaving the room.

Wally rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, "And a very bothersome ten-year-old."

**. . .**

"I thought you said kids _liked_ you!" Artemis screeched, hoping vainly that her voice could be heard over the loud screams of the aforementioned kids.

Wally tried to glare at her, but could only fix a pair of bewildered eyes on his teammate. "Which would have been completely true if these - these _demons_ were kids!" He hollered back. "Who gave them sugar?"

"Sugar!" Artemis smacked her forehead. "Of course."

Wally watched with raised eyebrows as she powerwalked into the kitchen and soon powerwalked back. "Uh.. what're you.."

She lifted up a packet of Hershey's Kisses.

"Sure that's a good idea?" Wally tried again. Artemis paid no heed to him.

"WHO WANTS KISSES!"

Immediately, the room went silent. Eight pairs of bright eyes turned to her and winning smiles rose to all lips.

"Some pair of lungs," Wally whistled. "Me!"

Kenny, four, tilted his head at Wally. "You wan her to kiss you?" He asked curiously. The other kids burst into infectious peels of laughter.

"What! No!" Wally protested. Artemis blushed.

"You like her, you like her!" Kenny began chanting, promptly followed by the others. "You really, really like her!"

"Das gross," a girl named Nora added, scrunching up her face in disgust.

"No!" Wally repeated again, growing more flustered by the second. "I just want a Hershey's kiss, okay?"

Luca pursed his lips. "No Artemis kiss?"

Wally glared at him.

Artemis, clearing her throat, quickly changed the subject and began distributing the chocolates amongst them, on the condition that they would stay quiet the rest of the afternoon, which they fiercely did, but not without the occasional snigger at Wally.

**. . .**

"You - you need to potty?" Artemis' voice was shaky as she asked Kenny the question both babysitters had been dreading all morning. He nodded solemnly. "Do you know how-"

"Jeez, Artemis, you don't ask a man if he knows how to potty." Wally shook his head and tried to keep his lips from twitching when Artemis glowered back at him.

"You need to help!" Kenny declared after a moment of thought, and with that, marched into the bathroom. Wally and Artemis exchanged nervous glances.

"Don't you want Wally to?" Artemis urged, hoping with all her might that he would agree. Handling children was not her area of expertise, and certainly not this part of handling them. Wally shook his head profusely.

"No, no. Hurry along, Artemis, he chose you!"

Kenny showed no sign of disagreement, to which Artemis groaned loudly, then, rolling up her sleeves, shot another threatening look at Wally before following the kid in.

Wally appreciated Kenny taking towards Artemis, for he was now free to listen and cackle with joy at her pain.

"Ew, ew, ew," Artemis kept repeating, as the act of cleaning Kenny's _mess_ was being done. And at the end of it all, she stomped out of the bathroom, hissed, "I hate children!" and then strode down the hallway, leaving behind a highly amused speedster.

**. . .**

Later that day, Wally was strolling down the hallway when his eyes caught a sight that both amused and concerned him. There, bent over the crib was Artemis, cooing at the laughing baby in her arms. What made him pause and watch, however, was the genuine delight in her eyes, and the delicacy with which she handled Jade. And the smile.

For the first time, he saw it, and the realness of it almost made him want mo-

'_What the heck am I thinking,'_ He caught himself and cleared his throat.

Artemis jumped slightly.

Wally smirked. "Hate children, huh?"

"Yes," Artemis grumbled.

"You know, with the face you made when Karen mentioned Jade, I was afraid you might have something against babies entirely."

"I didn't make a face."

"Pssh, yeah, you did."

"Just drop it, Wally." Artemis' voice rose slightly. "Wait.. ugh, sorry."

Wally rose an eyebrow at her.

"Anyway, I have nothing against.. _Jade_. And I was just going," Artemis added, placing the baby down gently, and with one swift movement passed Wally, leaving him somewhat confused. If he wasn't mistaken, her eyes flashed with … What was it? Sadness?

**. . .**

After seeing to it that the kids were satisfied and happy, Artemis retired to her room.

Even with the noise surrounding him, as the kids first pretended to be cooks and then knights, he could not stop thinking about what had happened earlier. They argued all the time, so why was it different this time, he kept asking himself.

'_The Artemis I know would bite back something repulsive, undoubtedly,_' He thought, smiling slightly. Then realization dawned upon him. He didn't actually know Artemis. Out of all of his teammates, she was the only one who he knew close to nothing about. '_Does anyone know anything about her?'_

He frowned. '_Why do I even care..'_

He never got to figure out the answer to that and his thoughts were put to an abrupt end when Nora and Kenny yanked his hands violently, declaring, "You're our maid in the game! You can clean things!"

"I _mess_ things," Wally grumbled but obliged.

And so the game began. In the middle, Wally was promoted from 'maid' to 'maiden' and was rescued by Nora the knight, fed cookies by Kenny and Dennis the cooks, pushed around by the younger kids, and snickered at by Luca, who could not hold back a smile at Wally's attempts to blend in.

They played for hours and hours, and by the end of it all, Wally was quite exhausted, though glowing with merriment. Their energy remained unmatched. Much to Wally's relief, Karen ended the game by announcing that it was time for dinner.

As everyone dug into their pasta, Karen talked to Luca in a lowered voice on the other side of the table. Wally frowned.

"You haven't taken enough," Karen urged.

"Don't bother yourself," Luca only shook her off. "I think it's enou-"

"Won't hurt you take help, you know."

Whipping around, Wally saw Artemis leaning against the doorway, her eyes fixed on Luca, her face inexpressive. For the first time, Luca looked hesitant. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

Artemis sighed, "Seriously, it's alright, she's only looking after you. It's okay if you accept that help."

Luca gave her a stiff nod and then forced a little smile at Karen, who, beaming, placed another spoonful onto Luca's plate.

Surprised at how easily Artemis' words got to Luca, Wally tilted his head at the archer. She didn't look at him, however, and silently took a seat. A smile tugged on Wally's lips.

'_So she does care.'_

* * *

_Whhhat do you think about it so far? _


	3. Confounded Chores and Scalding Coffee

**Chapter 3.**  
For years, Artemis had successfully blocked out thoughts of her questionable past, had avoided even recollecting the experiences that still haunted her. Yet, now, all of them seemed to resurface, more cutting than before. So after tossing and turning uncomfortably in bed, minutes feeling like hours when every memory struck her as if she was enduring them all over again, she retreated to the baby's room, a peculiar effort. There was something about Jade that put her at ease, she fancied. Ironically enough, for her crying was second to none in the household. But presently, surrounded only by the peaceful snores, Artemis breathed deeply.

"What am I doing?" She muttered, exasperated. "I'm putting myself through this, aren't I? Way to go, Artemis! Spare everyone of your stupid sob story and get over it.."

Jade's snoring grew louder, as if in agreement. Artemis scowled. "Whatever you say, kid, whatever you say." The warmth of the room wrapped around her, causing her eyes to grow heavier and heavier. Leaning against a wall, her consciousness ebbed. Her mind went into freefall and within moments she was sucked into the oblivion of sleep.

. . .

_Poke._

Artemis sniffed with annoyance.

_Poke._

"Mmph.." She mumbled. "Go away.."

One moment of peace.

_Poke, poke, poke._

Artemis shot up and flung her arms at the unknown person was in front of her, an action which might have startled said person, had it not been for her comical appearance; disheveled hair and a very, very grouchy face. Indeed, the flimsy attack only added to the joy felt by Wally West as he effortlessly dodged it.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." He smirked. Artemis scowled at him. "Yessiree, it's a beautiful day. Don't you agree?"

"Shut up, Baywatch.." Artemis sleepily attempted to tie her hair back with the previously fallen scrunchie. Wally's eyes sparkled with mirth. "Wait - Wallace West!" She exclaimed. "Give it back!"

He grinned. He'd plucked the scrunchie out of her hands and held it a good few inches above her reach. "Rapunzel finally let down her hair," Wally teased.

"I swear, by the time I'm done with you-"

"What was that? Couldn't hear you from down there."

"Agh!" Artemis, tired and ruffled, did the first thing that popped into her mind. Her foot hammered down onto Wally's, causing him to yelp and immediately release the precious hair-tie. Artemis huffed, snatched it up and walked off once again, leaving him grunting in pain but immensely entertained.

. . .

"Sit tight," Karen announced cheerfully. "Tough day ahead of you."

Wally and Artemis exchanged wary glances.

"Now, it's my day off, which _means_," Karen paused, only to permit Wally to gulp, then continued. "You need to make lunch, clean the house, do laun- y'know what, I'll just make a nice list for you! It'll be fun!"

The speedster groaned very openly. Artemis couldn't blame him. A day of that alongside managing ten obnoxious children would have Superman begging for death. But it needed to happen and it would. And so, the two teenagers set off to complete the tasks which would end in their either murdering the kids or themselves.

First task: showers.

Wally reveled in soap and suds. Artemis obviously didn't mind it at all and gave him permission to splash around as much as he wanted, granted they came out neat and tidy. Of course, he couldn't resist chucking a handful of water at her as she withdrew. Artemis, _the_ Artemis, let out a high pitched _shriek _and helplessly shook a fist at him. Wally burst out laughing, and wouldn't stop until she threatened to drown him in hot water, bubbles and all.

They did come out glowing, every one of them, though Luca sulked after being forced to go wear jeans instead of sweatpants. Quite rightly so. Artemis cracked a smile as they eagerly marched up to where she stood, laying out spoons on the table. "I'll admit.. Maybe kids _can_ tolerate you."

Wally grinned. "Tell me, how often do you eat cereal without bowls?"

Artemis smacked her forehead. "I'll … be right back."

Wally fell back against the wall, silently watching her disappear into the kitchen. '_So far, so good,' _he reflected. It _had_ been good, much better than he had anticipated, in fact. Little did he know, if he would allow himself to let go of the mental barriers he had set toward Artemis, he would find himself warming up to the idea of this time away from home. He couldn't come across this conclusion, however, for the familiar tug of wanting attention was felt on his sleeve.

Nora looked up soberly at him. "We've decided."

Wally lifted an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Dennis shrugged. "Yes. Artemis is now part of our family."

"You're not, though," Nora added hastily. "Not yet."

"Hey!" Wally protested. "That's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair," Luca remarked from his chair.

Wally rolled his eyes. "Jeez, kid, lighten up a little. Anyway, so that _monster_ has been accepted into your family, yet I'm denied brotherhood?"

They nodded their heads innocently. "You need to - to proof.." Nora broke off irritatedly, unable pronounce the stubborn word. "Proof your verth?"

Luca patted Wally's arm. "Eh, I wouldn't worry about it. Artemis is your ticket into the household."

"Wha-"

Nora bounced up excitedly. "I'm gonna be a bridesmaid!"

"I'll throw the flowers!" Kenny added from afar, his enthusiasm just as profound.

Wally was vainly aware of the scarlet which was spreading rapidly across his face, but his attention lay more on the blonde reentering the room. "Open your little mouths again and I'll pull out the duct tape," he hissed.

Luca pursed his lips. "Harassment."

Artemis, ignorant of the previous conversation, nodded in agreement, "Abuse."

Wally groaned again.

. . .

"Sure it's a good idea to let Luca take care of the mob?" Wally questioned. Artemis nodded. "You _sur-"_

"Unless you'd rather carry them all on your shoulders while we finish off these cursed chores, yes, I am."

Wally chuckled, "Alright, alright. What else have we got?"

"Uh, laundry and vacuuming," Artemis squinted disdainfully at the piece of paper. "I'll start with the clothes."

"I'll.. vacuum? Vroom, vroom."

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Don't blow anything up."

"Back at cha, Harpy."

Within five minutes, Wally was done. His task had been a bore to him due to the fun, fun perks of superspeed. He clicked his tongue impatiently. A minute passed. Then another.

"Blegh," He mumbled, but his eyes suddenly lit up. Placing himself on the floor, Wally launched into a coughing fit, each of his frantic gasps more hysterical than the last. Soon enough, Artemis hurried into the room.

"Are - are you okay?" Her tone was trapped between confusion and concern. "Wally!"

Wally only answered her with painful choking. She sat down next to him speedily, her hands finding his shoulders as she stared anxiously at him.

"Wally?" She urged. The genuine agitation in her voice was unmistakable. "You idiot, what's wrong-"

"Accidentally... Inhaled … dust," He croaked out. "Allergic.."

Artemis' eyes widened. "Hold on."

Wally cracked an eye open. She caught the bait. Artemis wasn't by his side anymore, but rushing out of the room, muttering incoherently under her breath. It took everything in his power to stifle a laugh. It was ineffective. Artemis returned, a glass of water in hand, to see Wally still sprawled across the floor. Only this time, chortling relentlessly. Her jaw dropped.

"Are you _kidding _me!" Artemis exclaimed. Once again, heat traveled swiftly to her cheeks.

His laughter didn't cease for a moment. "That - was - _amazing_," He managed to say between sniggers.

Artemis' face was practically on fire. "Pf- I didn't care! Was about to leave you to die anyway.."

"Sure you were." The green orbs shone gleefully. Artemis bared her teeth and hurled the water towards him. It missed, of course, and he was standing next to her in less than a second. Tapping her nose lightly, he smirked. "Cute."

Artemis' surprise could not have been more apparent. Wally only laughed again, "Come on, grumpy. We have laundry to do."

. . .

As the two proceeded to sort out the laundry, Wally threw his head back in despair. Artemis ignored it entirely and dumped a fresh pile of clothes in front of him. "Start."

"Wait - is that -" Wally flung aside the other articles of clothing aside and held up a piece of shiny red underwear. "_Flash merch?"_

Artemis eyed it dryly. "Keyword: Flash."

"Oh pfft, same symbol. They like me! Well, other me, but still!"

"Yes, I'm sure it would be thrilling to have your printed face thrust against a baby's bottom. Such an honor."

Wally snorted. "Whatever you say, moron."

"Hey, maybe I'll consider watching you model in it someday."

The smirk returned to Wally's lips. "You'd enjoy the sight of me semi-naked that much?"

Artemis choked on the undoubtedly sarcastic words ready to leave her mouth. "N-No. No thanks. My eyes work perfectly fine, and I would like it to stay that way."

"I'd look perfectly radiant in it, what do you mean," Wally insisted. "Tsk, tsk, so _green_ with envy."

"Red with outrage," Artemis shot back.

Wally grinned.

"What am I going to do with you," Artemis said, shaking her head disapprovingly, though she couldn't prevent a small smile from tugging on her lips.

The rest of the evening passed by quickly enough. Karen returned just before dinner and ensured that the kids all went to bed promptly afterward, as did she. Artemis now stood in the kitchen, rummaging through the many cupboards for coffee powder. Wally had rushed off to shower before anything else could distract him. Artemis frowned. She was convinced that Karen spent as much time fussing about perfect organization as she did worrying about the children, but at last, her prize was located and a cup of steamy goodness produced.

"Hey, Artemis, I can't find my shirt, have you seen my backpack…" Outside, Wally's voice trailed off. No Artemis in sight. He caught a glimpse of a green t-shirt from the kitchen. "What's that _smell_-"

Artemis so consumed in clearing up the dirty utensils so the aforementioned cook wouldn't attempt to terminate her, neither heard nor saw Wally silently walk up to her and peer over her shoulder.

"There we go," She surveyed the clean counters with an air of satisfaction, took her coffee, and was about to turn around when-

"_Ew_, did you empty the whole bottle in it?" Wally sniffed with disgust. Her momentary startlement sent the scorching liquid flying into the air and directly onto his bare chest. Wally yelped with pain and failed helplessly around the kitchen.

"Oh my god, you _idiot_!" Artemis whisper-shouted, hurriedly grabbing a towel to soak up the coffee on his torso. Only now did she fully realize that he was shirtless, and only now did she notice, and tried very hard not to notice, the muscular chest gleaming beneath the wet cloth and the little dancing freckles that decorated it. Only now was she also aware of the fact that Wally was staring down at her coolly.

"Done touching me yet?"

Artemis staggered back. "I - you - agh! Why'd you sneak up on me like that!"

"I didn't think you'd decide to attack me with that murky _thing_!" Wally argued. Then, smirking, he bent down and whispered, "Are you enjoying it?"

Artemis put her hands out and shoved him. Once again, making contact with the still bare chest.

"Clearly not done yet," Wally whistled, the smirk wider than ever.

"Will you just - just put a shirt on?" Artemis grumbled.

Wally frowned in mock thought. "Why," a sly grin. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"You are _impossible_!" Artemis declared, picking up the remaining coffee and heading towards the door. She turned to eye him flatly once, and gesturing to the brown puddle on the ground, ordered, "Now's when you to put that speed to use, pretty boy."

Wally rolled his eyes. When he left the kitchen again, he couldn't help but stop and gaze at he found in the living room. Everything was quiet. The scent of freshly brewed coffee still swirled about the air - bitter, sweet - though Wally wondered if it wasn't just radiating off of his chest. However, the remnants of the saved beverage had been discarded and forgotten entirely, and the hot-headed blonde lay curled up silently on the sofa.

"That tired, huh?" He muttered. She was fast asleep. Wally pursed his lips a little. "Don't tell me I have to babysit you now.."

He zipped out of the room and returned with a blanket which he carefully laid on her. "There." But for some reason, he couldn't make himself turn away again. His eyes remained glued to the darkened figure, the hair softly cascading down the shoulders, like a river of golden shimmering in the sunlight. He noticed her sharp features, softened by the tranquillity of sleep. He noticed the pure beauty which he had never been bothered enough to see before.

Wally breathed in.

"..Wow."

* * *

_Slightly self-indulgent, I'll admit. But can you blame me?_


End file.
